Empty Apartments.

I do have other blogs.. But they are aged, and full of the old me. They're full of my negativity. All of the sadness I used to harbor in my heart. I can still feel those stories, those experiences living in my blood, but I know now that they are the reasons behind every decision that I make. Without the negativity, I would never be able to appreciate all the good that I do now.

Some days I find myself thinking old thoughts, partaking in old methods of thinking, and I wind up getting angry with myself. Flustered for even feeling the same paranoia and negativity that used to come so easily at the drop of a line.Once you've crossed the fence, been to the other side and been free of all bad emotions and thoughts... And then to go back to that way of thinking? It's nauseating. Simply nauseating.

I don't know why I'm still allowing it to happen. I'm very well aware that my life would be exponentially better if I just cut the tie for good. But there's something in the way you say my name that gives me hope that with my new outlook, I might have missed something. Some small detail that will prove you're still my person.

But if there truly is nothing left, then that's alright.
I gotta stay positive no matter the outcome between us. We have had our moments; we have shared some of the strongest love, but everything has a shelf life. When things change, it may not always be pleasant, but every change happens in our lives for a reason. Sometimes we won't see the good in things until enough time has passed, but once you're aware of why change happens, it is no longer so tormenting. It becomes easier to sway with the changing of tides; with the flow of life.

Sometimes you gotta let go of something you love. Simply so you will know, without a doubt, that when it comes back into your life, it's the realest thing you will have ever yet to experience.